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Life, much like freelancing, has its ups and downs. There are moments when we're riding loftier and feeling invincible. And and then those not so bully times when life simply drags us down.

During those darker periods, our confidence tends to striking rock lesser. Nosotros hesitate and doubt ourselves. We forget who we are and what nosotros're supposed to be doing, and every single aspect of our life and business is affected.

It happened to me last twelvemonth. A few pregnant things occurred personally and professionally, and my conviction crumbled. In that location was a moment when I thought I'd never get it back. But with a little perseverance and some helpful tricks, I've managed to recover.

If you're currently suffering, don't sweat information technology. These challenging moments can exist positive. In the face of adversity, nosotros acquire more about ourselves. Notice our strengths. And our weaknesses. And, when we outset to recover, we take those lessons and apply them to our life and work, improving ourselves and our ventures.

To help you get dorsum your va-va-voom, allow me to share some tips on building confidence. The post-obit tips have also helped me. (Cheers to those who supported me through 2018 – you know who you are.)

Accept a break from drinking alcohol (or quit for good)

Why is this my offset tip? Because I've done it and it has transformed my life. Yep. Only by non drinking alcohol, I've significantly improved my mental wellbeing, and the knock-on upshot is that my cocky-esteem has improved and my confidence has sky-rocketed. (I might well drink again in time to come, only for at present, I'm taking a intermission.)

Some of you reading this volition be hoping I had a trouble with alcohol, and then you lot can distance yourself from "weird" non-drinkers like me and reassure yourself that you're non in the same boat. That'due south fine. You might not be. However, I was a "normal" drinker. Well, for a Brit, anyway. But I realised I'd had enough.

I'm non going to preach about the downsides of alcohol... how it can bear on your sleep, cause anxiety and deplete happiness. If y'all suffer, you'll know all this. If you're one of those lucky people who can handle booze, and then skip this tip and move on. For me, information technology was a no-brainer. Meliorate slumber meant a happier, more confident me. And feet? What anxiety?

If you lot actually can't behave the thought of giving upwardly your beloved beer, try a few alcohol-gratis alternatives to help cutting down. The quality of them has improved greatly over the last few years, so you can still get that nice refreshing drink at the end of a workday but without the negative effects. I highly recommend Big Drop and Nirvana. My favourite alcohol-free beer, though, is Paulaner's Hefe-Weißbier – information technology's only the dog's.

Consider whether you need Instagram

I'thou not talking about for business; I mean, personally. Because let's open an honest dialogue here: does Instagram make any of united states of america happy? Really?

In 2017, the Royal Society for Public Health (RSPH), an independent clemency that seeks to improve people's wellbeing, conducted a survey of fourteen to 24-year-olds, asking them about social media. And many reported heightened feelings of anxiety and low, poor sleep, trunk images issues and fear of missing out (FOMO).

Information technology'south not surprising. Sharing the "all-time" versions of ourselves tin can build an unrealistic picture: like anybody else is having this amazing life and nosotros're not. It tin make usa feel similar we're missing out. Similar nosotros're non good enough. We come abroad from the abiding scrolling and feel terrible. And when not enough people "like" our posts, nosotros become miserable – continually refreshing our feeds to come across if we're loved.

The RSPH is then concerned virtually social media's bear on that it's launched Scroll Gratuitous September, the world's first large-scale social media-free month to highlight the effect and encourage people to re-retrieve how much time they spend online.

The evidence continues to stack up – social media can harm our mental health. So if your conviction is at an all-time low, it might exist a good idea to delete any social apps from your phone and take a break from clicking 'likes'.

What'south more, embrace the "at present". Remove the urge to certificate your entire life to create a nice Instagram story. Don't flick or photograph a concert for the sake of social media – bask the moment. You'll feel less anxious, happier and at peace.

For farther reading, cheque out Jon Cockley of Handsome Frank'southward excellent article on algorithm anxiety for Lecture in Progress.

Have that "perfection" doesn't exist

Sticking to the discipline of Instagram, the pressure to be perfect is a relatively new concept. Sure, people have always suffered a fiddling from the "keeping upwards with the Joneses" mentality, but social media has only pushed this to the extreme.

The terms "van life" and "digital nomad" are probably familiar to you. They hint at young, bronzed, adept looking couples living "their all-time life" and touring the world in a camper van. Seemingly successful entrepreneurs "smashing it" and "hustling" to fly to exotic cities around the world. Healthy, toned women adopting impressive yoga moves on a beautiful beach somewhere — a stunning blogger striking a pose in the latest styles.

These people might wait like they've got it all figured out, just the reality is frequently very dissimilar.

I grew up in a sleepy town surrounded past farmers' fields. When I wanted to go out and play, I'd call on Gareth and Nick next door and Leon and Noel in the other cul-de-sac. We were like the Goonies. Cycling effectually together, playing football, climbing trees, edifice dens – information technology was bully. Information technology was enough. Nosotros weren't enlightened of the wider earth. Our small town was "abode", and we were happy. We didn't compare ourselves to anyone or wonder if the grass was greener elsewhere. Information technology just didn't matter. We lived in the moment, embraced the present and were quite content with our lives.

When did we start to desire more? Was it when the Internet came forth and exposed us to everything? Did Facebook play a big part when information technology felt like everyone was having such a corking fourth dimension, all the time? Has Instagram simply made things worse? Are all these podcasts about business and 4-hour workweeks making us feel inadequate? Accept the subliminal messages in advertizement been encouraging us to be entrepreneurs, urban center dwellers, world explorers, ever pushing on? Is that capitalism's sole purpose – to encourage united states to swallow continually?

All I know is that when we "unplug" and stop exposing ourselves to all the content from social media or advertising, we're a lot happier. When we ignore the brainwashing rhetoric, we're more present. Nosotros don't feel inadequate, ugly, wobbly or tiresome. We're non continually hankering after wearing apparel or makeup to brand ourselves experience meliorate. Nosotros're just living and accepting that perfection does not exist.

Information technology's near similar taking the red pill and stepping out of The Matrix. In one case you lot realise that no i has it perfect, that everyone suffers, you can feel the weight lifting from your shoulders. You can get back that feeling from childhood when all that mattered was right at present.

Terminate ownership "stuff" you don't need and get your money in order

When I quit alcohol in January, I turned to clothes shopping to get my dopamine fix. Browsing websites on common cold, wintertime evenings and calculation things to my cart made me (temporarily) happy until I received my credit card bill and realised that all this stuff was causing stress.

It's an easy trap to autumn into. We think shiny, new things will aid elevator our mood but we're just keeping ourselves on a treadmill – ane that keeps us running when all nosotros desire to do is relax. Where was I getting my urge to shop from? Yeah, Instagram. Bloggers sharing their capsule wardrobes pushed me to buy the same things. The problem is yous tin never keep up!

When I'm living a frugal beingness, I'thou happier. When I have savings in the bank, and I know, in my heart, that I've had a good month, I feel relaxed. I feel in control. And I'm proud of myself for non adding to any waste matter, reducing my carbon footprint and making use of the stuff I've already got. Information technology's a great feeling, non spending any coin.

And while I'thousand on the bailiwick of "stuff" – when was the last fourth dimension yous had a good spring clean? I've had four since Christmas. It's so liberating – selling things on eBay, altruistic stuff to charity shops or giving apparel to my incredibly lean and gorgeous trendy mother.

By tidying and sorting, you end upward with a more organised home. And you know what they say, tidy abode, tidy heed! Read KonMari's The Life-Irresolute Magic of Tidying Up for some inspiration.

Limit your exposure to negativity

Yes, I'm talking about the news. Media. Twitter – annihilation that involves negativity. But what about beingness engaged in current affairs, I hear y'all say? As a announcer/author, any you want to phone call it, I spent many years starting each mean solar day with the Today programme on Radio4. I felt it was my duty. Then I'd become to work, ofttimes feeling down, with no idea why.

Until I read this article by Rolf Dobelli that said the news was bad for us, and giving up reading it will make us happier. An interesting concept and one I adopted. I'k not entirely out of the loop. I catch up now and again. It's just that virtually mornings brainstorm with some Cuban salsa music or something equally cheery and a picayune dance around the kitchen.

Speaking of Twitter, I have a love/hate relationship with the platform. Information technology used to be far cheerier, dorsum in the day. Now, it can feel quite toxic. But with many great friendships on there, it remains my favourite social media channel.

To accept a healthy relationship with Twitter, I do 2 things. Kickoff, I limit myself to the platform via the desktop during working hours.

Secondly, if in that location's someone who raises my feet, information technology could be anyone at all. A ranter. A complainer. Someone who shares negative things. I mute them. I purposefully remove them from my feed, and I never need to worry about them again. Plus by "muting" them, they'll never know – information technology's a double win. I don't go broken-hearted, worrying nearly unfollowing someone or blocking them. I but innocently mute toxic or negative people to proceed Twitter total of lighthearted, genuine and happy updates.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone

I'm not i for public speaking. Who is? But this year, I decided information technology was high fourth dimension that I put myself out there and shared my story. Standing on stage, talking about myself and my piece of work, was terrifying but liberating. Once I relaxed and realised everyone was on my side, I found I was pretty good at it. And, dare I say it, I even enjoyed information technology. I felt proud of myself. My conviction improved. I also thought: what next?

You don't have to do a talk. You could observe something else that you'd typically shy away from. How most going to see a movie on your own? Or jumping dorsum on your bicycle? What about that book yous've been promising to write? Even just attending a networking event when you'd rather stay in with Netflix – all these things that we'd rather avoid can open upward new learning experiences and afterwards boost our confidence.

Sign up for a fitness challenge

The Not bad North Run in Manchester is something my friends participate in every year. I've never liked the idea of getting involved. All those people, standing on the sidelines. I'yard a private person – I love to run alone. But this fourth dimension, I thought I'd bring together them. Not merely was I pushing myself out of my condolement zone (see to a higher place) and raising money for charity, I was doing something that would give me focus for several months leading up to the large event.

By having something to train for, it gave me the push I needed to go running. I lost weight, toned upwardly and felt amazing. I boosted my endorphins and combatted stress. I dropped a dress size and bought some new apparel, giving me even more confidence. And because I was training, I was thinking well-nigh my diet, eating healthier and giving my immune system a adept boost. It all adds up.

And then, when I ran that 10km, I felt even more astonishing. The cheering crowds were hugely supportive. Near the finish line, I even heard one adult female say, "Come on, Katy! You're making this look like shooting fish in a barrel!" When I turned around to see who it was, her whole confront was beaming. My eyes welled upwardly at that moment, as I felt the entire love of Manchester overwhelm me. I'm signing upwardly again for next yr.

Learn something new

A calendar month agone, I discovered an app for my smartphone called Anki, offering flashcard learning for any subject I like. As I run a creative magazine, it's probably expected of me that I know more nearly fine art than I cartel to admit. So I thought I'll learn that.

Four weeks later and I can recognise a Max Ernst from a Francis Bacon. I know the difference betwixt Sisley, Cassatt and Morisot. I tin instantly spot a Praxiteles from a Canova sculpture. Ok, I'chiliad showing off. But I'1000 proud of myself! I know so much more about art, and it's been such a boost to my confidence. If I'k not careful, my Roger Moore raised countenance will pop out, as I show off my newfound skills to friends.

If art isn't your matter, Anki has loads of other subjects: learn a language, brush up on geography (that's what I'g doing next) or master long poems. Go on, give it a whirl.

Give something back

Whether it's raising money for charity, helping out a friend or mentoring a graduate – being kind is good for you. From reducing stress and boosting mental wellbeing, it can even aid you to live longer. Even better, it tin boost confidence and give you a sense of purpose similar cypher else.

Researchers at the University of California in Berkeley believe that kindness and related qualities like empathy, sympathy and compassion are a class of self-preservation – the survival of the kindest. It's a selfish act but one that has allowed our species to thrive. What generous action can you perform today to give yourself a lift?

Requite yourself a big intermission (and others, too)

It used to be that we compared ourselves to a pocket-sized pool of people; now we compare ourselves to the world. In this "always-on" age, it's easy to give yourself a difficult fourth dimension and think you're not expert plenty.

Just that'south but the thing: you are plenty. You don't have to be continually striving forward. You don't necessarily have to get that promotion or build that agency if that'due south not for yous. Where you lot are right now is enough — one step at a fourth dimension, twenty-four hours by twenty-four hour period. Just do your best with the time, energy and resources you accept available to you.

Besides, no one will observe if yous down tools for an afternoon or forget to post an Instagram update. They'll all be too busy worrying well-nigh themselves.

It also doesn't help that we're more exposed to criticism online. I mean, how exercise we feel when we read through the replies on a big design agency's tweet of a contempo branding project? It's enough to brand any of u.s.a. depressed.

While the natural reaction is to shut ourselves away from the world, it'due south amend to understand the bigger moving-picture show, i.e. to have compassion for ourselves and others. For example, near non-constructive criticism comes from a identify of fright, anger or insecurity. It's about ego.

As humans, we're all flawed and prone to this behaviour. To gainsay it, go along in mind this fundamental truth. People don't hateful whatever harm; they're generally only afraid that they 're non good enough.

Know that you are wonderful

The just other thing that has helped me is reminding myself that I'k neat. I'm wonderful. I've got and then much to give. And there are many things I can exist proud of.

As Brits, we don't tend to pat ourselves on the back; we take a more self-deprecating or apprehensive approach. Writing a professional person Twitter bio is excruciating for us. But we should embrace our strengths. We should gloat our wins, our achievements, our breakthroughs.

Every bit humans, information technology'south natural that nosotros focus on our failures or mistakes (which are, in fact, valuable lessons), and the negative things people might have said.

Alter your mindset by but replacing every negative idea with a positive one, along with any lessons you might've learned. For example, "I messed upwardly with the client'due south borderline" becomes "I've learned to manage expectations better and communicate with my clients in future".

Instead of replaying in your listen the negative things people say or do, focus on the proficient stuff: praise from a client, a kind human action from a stranger or a supportive comment from a friend.

A footling positive thinking, compassion and kindness every day can help.

When you've gone through a rough patch, what has helped you to gain back your confidence? Join the chat on Twitter to share your tips, and I might add them to this article.

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Source: https://www.creativeboom.com/tips/how-to-get-your-confidence-back-when-youve-been-through-a-rough-patch/

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